Imperfectionism.
Life.
Saturday, April 21, 2012 • 5:43 AM • 0 comments

To be frank, i really despise money .
Its causing my family to fall apart. Argue here, argue there.
I stay in the living room, they quarrel there. i run to my room, another quarrel arises. Hey, can i at least have some peace ? If this goes on, i really don't know how i'm gonna survive. I already gotta work my ass off to have some money to spend for myself, and now your giving me more and more shit that i have to pay myself ?.
I know i've got to be independent on myself one day, but for god's sake, i'm only a mere 14-year-old. i've still got at least 2 more years of my youth before i can legally work, you know? When i told my friends i'm working, they think its a joke. Hahaha, working to act cool, bla bla bla. On holidays, kids at my age spend their time lazing at home, hanging out with friends outside, or go to school for cca activities .
ME ?. Its all work and school, thats all. When i go out, i use my own money. I pay for my own food for the holidays. Everything from my own 2 pockets, and once i reach home, all i get is getting yelled at for no damn reason. Mood no good eh? Am i some sort of stress reliever ? where you can rage at all day long ? I've really had enough of these shit . I also wanna live like a normal 14-year-old. My like is getting more and more messed up , both at home and school.
At home, i get yelled at. At school, i get laughed at and accused of .
When i'm young, i've always dream't of a perfect life, where i live a life with almost zero flaws, like those Disney movies. But once i turned 11, reality crashed upon me . But i thought to myself that, that's not the end. Today, it might me. Everything just turns downhills.
As people get old, they change. Some, to a complete different person. I know, I've also changed. What happened to that someone whom i can talk anything to? Nothing lasts for more than a month for me now. Its like, i'm forced to change friends every month. By the mid of each month, there'd definitely be someone who just doesn't like me getting in my way, sabotaging whatever makes me happy. And I'll end up not being able to do anything, but just to swallow my tears and carry on with life.
Up till now, how much tears have i swallowed already? At times i'm supposed to cry, i can't seem to force any tears out anymore. I'm really curious, what will happen if I just let everything out all at once one day. I'm curious, and i'm scared. Will i change? Will i lose everything ?

I'm really scared.

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